Love Spells

For the longest time I’ve been wondering what the ” butterflies” feeling is all about. Why do some people make you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach and why do some just make you flat out sick to your stomach? More importantly how and why do we fall in love?   I’ve recently done a little research on this topic and would like  to share what I’ve found with you guys.

Scientist  have credited the feeling we all know as “love” to a number of  naturally produced hormones that are systematically secreted in the human body during different types of interactions between two individuals.

The Encounter

Studies by Psychologist have shown that it takes between 90 seconds to 4 minutes for two people to decide whether or not they have chemistry.  During this encounter it’s not actually what’s being said between the two people involved but how it is being said.

55% of this communication is done through body language, 38% is tone and speed of voice and merely  7% of this communication accounts for what the two people are actually saying.

The ” 3 stages of love”  were proposed by Researcher Helen Fisher of Rutgers University

Stage 1: Lust

Lust or very strong sexual desire is driven by the male and female hormones Testosterone and estrogen

Testosterone and estrogen: influence  physical attraction and sexual arousal in both men and woman.

Stage  2: Attraction

Attraction or as I like to call it “Infatuation” is the time in a relationship when you become so wrapped up in a person  that you can’t think of anyone else (Sometimes not even yourself. yikes!).  The hormones responsible for this stage are  adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

Adrenaline:

The initial stages of “falling” for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of Adrenalin and Cortisol. This is why we often sweat, our  hearts race, and our mouths go dry when we encounter our new love interest.

Dopamine:

Dopamine is the hormone responsible for feelings of euphoria. When this hormone is activated it secretes an intense rush of pleasure.

Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .

These characteristics are very similar (if not the same) to those of individuals with addictive behaviors like drug addicts and heavy gamblers.This can be seen as evidence that one can in fact be addicted to love or loving someone no matter how destructive the relationship is to the persons well being.

Serotonin:

Serotonin is believed by many researchers to be responsible for the feelings of  happiness and well being in a person. Studies show low levels of serotonin to be associated with depression.

Stage 3: Attachment

Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough to reproduce and/or build lives together. Scientist associate the two major hormones Oxytocin and Vasopressin with this feeling.

Oxytocin:

Oxytocin is responsible for creating the feelings of deep connection leading to attachment and commitment. Oxytocin  is secreted during childbirth, breast feeding, and during an orgasm. A popular theory is that the more sex a couple has the stronger there bond becomes.

Vasopressin:

Vasopressin is also a hormone that contributes to strong bonds between couples.This hormone is secreted after sex. This conclusion was made after A study done by scientist using Praires Voles showed that the presence (or lack thereof) of Vasopressin played a significant role in the amount of devotion (or lack thereof) the subjects had toward there partners. Praire Voles relationship are similar to human relationship in that they have  far more sex than is required for reproduction and also form fairly stable pair bonds.

The love spell

If you’re  planning on going on a date with someone you’re interested in this exercise created by Psychologist and University Professor Arthur Arun should be interesting and fun to try:

  • Find a complete stranger. (doesn’t have to be a stranger could be someone you feel you don’t know well enough.)

  • Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.

  • Then, stare deeply into each others eyes without talking for four minutes.

Many of the subjects involved in this study reported to feel deeply attractive to one another after 36 minutes. Two of the couples in this experiment later got married.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Comments

  1. So if this is true ( and I believe it to be so) then what’s up with men taking so long to ask a female to marry them? I mean if the attraction is there and if most men know with in the matter of minutes rather or not their going to pursue you. Why wait so long to commit eternally? What’s your logic on this?

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    1. Too many factors to put into one comment. But I’ll say this. If a guy knows he wants to marry you he won’t feel comfortable marrying you until he becomes the type of man that he feels deserves you. So in some cases the guy hasn’t asks because he feels like he doesn’t deserve you yet. Which is a good thing in my opinion. But then again I’m a guy so I might be a bit biased.

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    2. I enjoyed the post! But… Your response is a cop out. Men go after and secure what they want. Anything else is them being insecure or uncertain if they’re ready to make that big of a committment, not wanting to feel “stuck.” If a man isn’t necessarily ready, he’s gonna get ready because he sees the womans value and doesnt want to risk losing her. If a man doesnt feel he deserves that woman he should just let her be free to be loved by someone who does deserve her.

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      1. You’re so right now that I look at it. I agree with you sometimes as men we have to either evolve or let the woman go but men are selfish creatures so we ain’t just going to let another guy have our girl.

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  2. King, I found this very insightful to say the least. It does make you pose many questions, and gives insight into just how much control our brain has over our body, verses us over it. Keep the blogs coming! This immediately made me think of a few ideas for poems. I am curious to see how you feel about a poem or two, I have regarding love and etc.

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