Hero or villain? Part 2

When did I start thinking like this?  How did the villain become the hero?

Days later and I still can’t get Solange ‘s song out of my head. After listening  to it a million times I finally realize that it wasn’t love that she had loss during this emotional period in her life. It was her mind.

Once I realized this I began to understand why I had been so attracted to this song.

For as long as I could remember I always felt like I was running out of time, Like there was some great destiny that I wouldn’t have enough time to fulfill. Feeling like this caused me to be at times emotionally unstable and sometimes unbearable to be around. It was manageable for the most part of my life but as I got older it got worse because I began to feel more and more that time was running out. “I tried to drink away, I tried to dance it away, and I tried to sleep it away but it this feeling remained present.I didn’t know what was wrong with me so I distanced myself from people who meant the most to me because I  was trapped inside of my mind. I tried to read it away, sex it, run it away.I started doing hurtful things to my girlfriend at the time because I didn’t know how to express what I was going through. I felt like no one understood me. “I said goodbye to my lover though if I was alone then maybe I go recover, to write away or cry it away.”

After I had scared everyone away, I had more than enough time to  address the cause of all of my fears and troubles; Myself.In time  I started getting more in tune with my higher self and started to realized that everything the universe wants to happen, happens in perfect timing. Becuase of this journey I embrace today ,am not afraid of tomorrow and am finally finding peace of minding.I guess that’s the reason I became the hero; I want people who are struggling to know that peace of mind is a possibility. I’m not saying I don’t encounter those “cranes in the sky” anymore, just saying I understand why they come and know that they’ll pass.

PS. If you met me during my this stage where I was finding myself ,I’m sorry. Do over?

 

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