The hardest thing I’ve had to do in my adult life is have a conversation with the transgender cashier at Buffalo exchange while trying to pretend I didn’t notice his cropped shirt and pierced – very hairy- belly button.
I’ve done nothing to influence your fall
But I’ll do everything to express myself
Because the love I possess is overwhelming
I try to mask it but it seeps through my pores
and engulfs everyone around me
protecting them from themselves
However I no longer want to be a hiding place for bruised soulS
Or spend my life putting together broken hearts.
There has to be more to life than being able to say you’ve figured someone out.
I fell apart once
there were pieces of my heart scattered all over the place.
I wanted to die but my soul wouldn’t quit.
It wouldn’t let go of the memories.
I had to move on
No label or titles, nor weddings with bibles.
What was meant to be never happened and since forever came sooner than I expected,
each time my heart beats I see an image of you.
How I’m sposed to go to sleep ?
I’m living with PSTD
Thoughts keep controlling me
and aint no one consoling me
Feeling all this urgency
Its hard to get a hold of me
cop cars patrolling me
Tryna catch me serve the fiens
Coulda caught a body went up state
Before I got my first degree
But aint gone explain myself
And I don’t need a lame to help
Ambulance car outside
They say my nigga banged his self
That nigga should’ve hit my phone
Like “ yo Tah I’m feeling alone”
I would’ve smoked a blunt with you
I would’ve took the gun from you
But Instead I’m at ya funeral crying
Still alive but my insides dying
I need a way to break the surface
Cause the liquor and the weed aint working
My depression got me feeling kinda worthless
Feeling lost got me questioning my purpose
And now I cant go to sleep.
When we Feel the warmth of compassion it allows us to embrace the comfort of belonging.
These moments of peace help us give in to our inclinations to submit and allow us to express the emotions that we -most times -can not explain.
Let’s exercise those freedom which cannot be bought and Encourage ourselves to explore the transcendent euphoria that is stillness.
I believe that if we are successful that these moments will last an eternity . For if the ocean is in the sky then life is a circle.
Sometimes I have dreams about my past lives
In them I see the hearts I’ve broken,
people I’ve misused
and the things I shouldn’t have uttered
These visions I cannot explain
One would have to be there
In order to experience them from my unique perspective
seeing what Ive experienced, searched and sacrificed
for a breathe of fresh air
I awake from my dream a prisoner
and slave to time
Trapped in this dream we call life.
One day, while walking to the water pump, a boy witnessed a man driving by in a shiny and attractive vehicle.
While riding past, the man tossed an empty box of cigarettes out of his car window and quickly sped away.
Soon afterwards , the boy -astonished by the man’s luxurious automobile – turned to his father and asked:
“Father, does it make you sad that we are so poor?”
To which the boy’s father responded:
I do not feel sad? Do you?
The boy replied:
“No, but we don’t have much money?”
The father delayed his response and lowered himself to a knee so that he could look directly into his son’s eyes. With a slight smile on his lips, he used his words to edify the boy:
“My son” He said in a warm and calm tone. “Some people are so poor, that all they have is money”
When I recite the words “I know nothing”
The concepts within my mind shatter
I image them breaking away like a Tetris pattern
Suddenly I feel a sense of liberation
I enter a reality without restraints
Eventually the concepts will come back
But I know nothing
feeling connected with all other beings
Seeing the essence of existence within each moment
flying without wings
Singing hymns that I have know recollection of
Loving women with images that appears to be a reflection of my own
Kissing a child who will probably grown up with a deep rooted since of entitlement
Praying to the God inside of me
To be exact
when it comes to black
no ones predating us
The founders went on conquest
Their mission was enslaving us
Colonies all our people
Livestocking and trading us
Saw power in our skin tone
And made a plan change it up
Saw God in all our faces
still chose to violate us
saw the beauty n our women
Then decided they should rape her
See us suffering in the streets
They use guns instead of tazors
Then sentence us to the jail
With a bunch of loaded cases
Now his comissary low as fuck
His baby mom ain’t showing up
His starving barely holding up
He smiling cus he going nuts
His son just started high school
Can’t get him on the phone much
His step dad gotta crazy mouth
So youngin fighting grown ups
He see his dad and let him know
his plan to hit the streets
Ain’t bout to ask his mom
or her new man to buy his sneaks
And Dad knows that once a man decides
he can’t be stopped
That nothing can derailed em
so he put him on the block
He tell him if gets caught
to keep his mouth on lock
And if they try to run up
Give em something from this glock
Ain’t learn shit from his dad
Except how a Demon
Society looking at him
like another curse seamen
On instagram they snitchin
Whole world no he wanted
And his mother going through it
Cus this ain’t life she wanted
She join a church
get close to god
Her head stay in a bible
He hiding what he feel in side
Too focused on survival
Plus he got his girl pregnant
Every night his thoughts spiral
Just another Black male
who got caught up in the cycle