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Memoirs: Evolution

Here on earth we all wear a disguise
We run from the truth and embrace common lies

We live in fear and hide in crowds

Who say individual thought is not allowed

We choose a God and praise his name

We seek attention and live in vain

The idea of love is just that, an idea

And for things to be appreciated they must first disappear

We travel through life at a rapid speed

While our childhoods are trampled on by our stampede

Some will lose and none will win

All will get to try again

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Memoirs: Entitled

One night I saw God on the corner of Broad and Olney

So I asked him:

Nigga where you been?

Why I ain’t got no wife yet?

Why you keep killing all of my friends?

Why I ain’t rich?

Where the fuck is Benz?

And why every time I turn around something wrong again?

But you want me to pray to you at night?

Why you out here chilling and not making shit right?

*He exhaled his blunt and leaned back on his SS impala and said:*

Why my blessings always gotta come in dollars?

I gave knowledge youngin, that shit has power!

You think I care that you’re upset cause I smoked your boys?

I like when there’s  peace and they was making too much noise

And you pushin up on me like you wanna join them

Better get your punk ass up off my corner

I should pistol whip your punk ass right now

For coming at me like im a clown

I’m letting you live this one last time

But if I see you again that ass is mine

No time to be living in pain or sorrow

cause from now on your time is borrowed

I could’ve killed your lil ass when you was ten

But here I am giving  you life again

So when you wake up in the morning, you better thank me

Cause you got troubles but you blessed mainly

Just don’t  ever forget who that is I be

And don’t ever forget that I’m your OG

 

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Statistic 

I was in the alley watching niggas serve the fiends 
Listening to Papi sell the hood niggas dreams 
I was in an Audi by the age of 17

Couldn’t go to sleep I had smokers in my dreams 

Tried to keep the peace but I would smoke you for my cream

I just had to have it

Light skin bitch kept saying I was average 

Didn’t want to fail, didn’t want to live bummy

Late night kitchen table counting up the money 

Everything was blurry my whole life looked fuzzy 

All I really wanted was for somebody to love me 

Moving too fast now my room look like a cubby,

Eating chi’s chi’s chips cutttin up my tummy 

1 year down 15 years coming 

All this time left and ain’t no runnin 

It’s 1 million kinds a way to eat

But the hood got me thinking the only way is the streets 

So when I get home Ima trap some more 

and when I get smoked they spray paint me on the corner store 

My kids won’t have a father and their mother will be spiteful

Because she knows that they’re  doomed to continue the cycle 

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Ghetto Superstar

At night I get lifted and dance with the stars

Wondering when ima get mine just so I can make it ours

Tryna hide my pain but they don’t make tattoos to hide these types of scars

Growin up in a world where that’d rather see me dead  or behind bars

Instead of in a Benz with good credit, studying to pass the BAR

Everyone is  scared 

So instead of raise they passed the bar

we grow up brain-dead, only concerned with getting fly and buying cars

Our rationale:if we cant win here let’s shine bright  as the stars

But it take a positive mindset if you want to get far

You gotta have drive even when you can’t find a car

and keep climbing even when the top seems far

So stay grateful for today and ready for tomorrow

Cause one day you gone be a Ghetto Superstar

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Exoneration

 

Honestly, I always felt like I was never worth your time, let alone a piece of your heart….but now I see that the way you came up makes it not all of  your fault.

Still, that doesn’t stop the memories from haunting my thoughts…. and if anyone ever asked me what seperated us …I’d say …”it was the bitches that drove us apart”.

You miss birthday’s and  play dates……we never even went on a trip. Then whenever we came to see you…you’d slide off into the night with some chick…..seems like you wanted to be inside of them……. more than you wanted to love your kids.

Got me looking at monogamy with a twisted view…… and my sisters in a cypher of relationships that always leave them bruised.

I don’t even know you middle name your favorite foods to eat……because its was hard for to compete with the trills of the street.

You probably don’t even know I grew insecure and shy …….and often afraid to even speak my mind… and that’s because your bitches all was had your time.

So now when I see you we don’t converse… because for years I’ve pictured you in a hearse

But I’m coming to you… to call a truce…hoping it’ll fix my inner issues….because though you left me sad and blue…… I cant reject that I am you

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You and I 

Have you ever notice how The Sun remains still while the planets in its universe revolve and rotate around it? It (the sun) manipulates these movements via a force called gravity. Gravity aligns and organizes the planets in accordance to the sun. So, The order of the Universe is dependent on gravity i.e. (In other words) Gravity is order. Imagine for a moment that Your mind is like the sun and your thoughts are like the planets. If your mind (the sun) is moving at the same rate as your thoughts (the planets) you’ll always be trying to catch up with them (your thoughts) But if you place your mind at the center of your thoughts you can arrange and organize them for maximum productivity. This is how manifestation is done, this is how you and I were created; by order of the Universe. Create order, create peace, then create life (manifestation).

Good Night Star children 😉

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The Sinister Statistic

When you look at me what do you see? 
Do you see me as I am or as an image portrayed on tv? 

Am I being judged based on my character or on an infamous Gangster who’s plans you wish to shatter. 

Maybe Nino brown or frank Lucas, because maybe then it would make sense why you have to put me through this.

You seem adamant about killing my confidence and condemning my grace, because youre certain that men where I’m from are such a disgrace.

You try to hide your fear but it can’t help but show, because you begin to shake whenever you feel I’ve gotten to close.

although Id rather be friends you prefer the role of a foe, quietly praying I’ll take the plea and go back to the ghetto. 

I know why my brown tint frightens you, it’s because the government has fed you lies that you believe are true, and now that I’ve seen this side of you….I’ll probably never be able to confide in you. 

You question if I care but they answer is clear… because if I didn’t I wouldn’t standing right here….in your court room, pleading for mercy, while you think of creative ways to hurt me. 

I call your prejudice and you get so offended, becoming more anxious to punish me for crimes YOU’VE invented.

I tried to remain stoic but a part of me wants laugh…..at the plaintiff who’s blinded by a desire for cash….Is this what happens when the love doesn’t last? and Usian can’t even outrun your past? 

If I say sorry, will that make up for the decisions I’ve made? If I pawn all my jewelry can I escape being chained? Or does it benefit you more if I’m stuck in a cage?   

If you were me what would you do to maintain? If you lived where the cowards were murdering the brave, and your only option was to become someone’s slave. 

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