There once was a kid who had nowhere to go. He had a whole lot of mouth but nothing to show. So he went to streets and started walking around with heat. Hustled on other niggas corners so he was always in some beef. But shorty had potential that kept deeply buried, he was tired of running the streets and making his mom worry. He wanted to be star but he was too scared to mention, he was smartest kid in class but he stayed in detention. He wasn’t all the bad he just needed some attention, couldn’t go see his dad so instead he climbing fences.Every night he would go home and write down his dreams and imagine how life was behind the big screen. Thinking of way that he could grind is way out, all the pain from the past made him want to scream and shout. Before he’d go to sleep at night he’d pray to above, everybody saw trouble but he really needed love.
Who will love this man?
A question I sometimes ask myself at night while alone listening to music and feeding to my oral fixation with a cigar I purchased from an Asian restaurant.
Deep thoughts circle in my mind. Some so dark that I immediately pray they never escape my mind. Others so enlightening that I fear ill be crucified if I ever form words to express them.
You see, I’m afraid of myself. My essence and my power make me feel like I’m the Sun; beautiful to look at but too dangerous to get close to.
My clairvoyant persona something I sometimes wish I could hide but like the sun surrounded by clouds its only a matter of time before the light on the other side peaks through again.
As I begin to regain focus my vision clears and I recognized my path, filled lighted and truth.
Yet some nights I still find myself asking:
“Who will love this man?”
Who will be brave enough to love the man who holds the power to either heal or destroy the world?
HE, he will love Self; for his survival in this dimension rest upon this defining decision.
As I stood in the doorway, eyes piercing through the dark of the night, obsessing over satins unique ability to caress every curve and angle of her frame.
I received an impulse to approach my prey. So smitten I don’t recall how I traveled the distance. Maybe I glided, maybe my wings flew me towards my dream.
Losing control of my bodily functions-it was if my heart took control and didn’t require permission from my brain anymore-while she lay still on her back like a goddess waiting to be taken by her fierce gladiator.
My fingers began to caress the triangular parts of her body and steadily moved to the creasing parts of her spine, sliding towards the cushions of her backbone.
Between her thighs I feel the steam from her ocean shooting out like a rapid fire; enough to invoke a mist.
My palms soon seek refuge in her well groomed garden. My brain begins to function slightly but only enough for me to imagine the pleasures my extension may feel might I dare expose it to her narrow river.
This would not be the first time I’d taken a dip in these warm waters -where I’d been many times smalls distances between life and death-and it wouldn’t be the last.
while on this expedition toward passion I always retrieve myself moments before my demise. Within each step I take towards an inevitable death I feel I become more alive.
I have no control of myself yet full control of her, this is my final fantasy, this euphoria.
I’ve always had a thing for you and you’ve always had a thing for me. We were still trying to understanding our bodies then so it’s was hard for us to understand why we felt the way we did about each other. But even when we did we were still hesitant to explore…. or maybe we were just afraid. Afraid of the fire that we’d light. What if we went too far? Would that fire warm us or burn us alive?
During the time I was too young, too ambitious, and too selfish to take such a risk.
But time as caused me to grow bolder. So when I finally saw you again after all these years I didn’t hesitate to get your number and make it my business to get you to my bedroom.
No playing it cool this time, I want to show you what the years have shown me. I want to know your body as well as I know your mind and soul. I’m not uncertain or bashful about my Desires. I want to taste every part of you until your skin wrinkles. I’m not rushing because I’ve learned patience while waiting for the next time we’d meet again. I knew this would happen, I knew we would happen. Just promise you’ll be mine forever. Even if forever ends after our climax.
It’s past our meeting date. I’m irritated, horney and angry all in one so I send the text:
“I’ve been calling you for days and you’re not answering this isn’t like you. You would’ve called me by now. What’s going on? Should I do a pop up? I knew you were going to eventually choose him over me! You think you about to be happy while I’m sitting here miserable? You got me fuck up! I’m just going to keep calling you until you change your number. Matter fact I’m about to tell him everything you dumb ass bitch I Hate you!!!!”
Before I could send the text the bell rang and I went to the door. It’s the cop who always used to come when we had our domestic disputes. I haven’t seen him in a while so I’m automatically defensive. I look him up and down and say ” what the fuck you want? We ain’t even together no more y’all always fucking with me.”
He shakes his head and says ” it’s not even like that this time we need your help.No ones seen Diana in a week and her mom said that if anyone knew where she would be it’s you knowing how inseparable you guys are.”
I respond ” look she got a boyfriend go ask that nigga we been over for a year.”
He shakes his head and walks away but before he gets in the car he gets a phone call that causes him to turn back around. This time he ain’t playing with me. He grips me up and throws me in the back of his car. I know I’m not arrested because I don’t have any handcuffs around my wrists. We pull up to this building and walk down the basement into a cold room. As I observe the room my heart feels like it’s pounding through my hoodie. The lady pulls back the sheet and ask ” can you identify this body?”
My hands grip my face so hard it seems like I’m trying to rip it off. I can’t control my cry, I’m hollering, screaming and trying to catch my breath at the same time ;No one around me knows what to do to calm me.
The body on the table, It’s her, its my love, its Diana.
For the longest time I’ve been wondering what the ” butterflies” feeling is all about. Why do some people make you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach and why do some just make you flat out sick to your stomach? More importantly how and why do we fall in love? I’ve recently done a little research on this topic and would like to share what I’ve found with you guys.
Scientist have credited the feeling we all know as “love” to a number of naturally produced hormones that are systematically secreted in the human body during different types of interactions between two individuals.
Studies by Psychologist have shown that it takes between 90 seconds to 4 minutes for two people to decide whether or not they have chemistry. During this encounter it’s not actually what’s being said between the two people involved but how it is being said.
55% of this communication is done through body language, 38% is tone and speed of voice and merely 7% of this communication accounts for what the two people are actually saying.
The ” 3 stages of love” were proposed by Researcher Helen Fisher of Rutgers University
Stage 1: Lust
Lust or very strong sexual desire is driven by the male and female hormones Testosterone and estrogen
Testosterone and estrogen: influence physical attraction and sexual arousal in both men and woman.
Stage 2: Attraction
Attraction or as I like to call it “Infatuation” is the time in a relationship when you become so wrapped up in a person that you can’t think of anyone else (Sometimes not even yourself. yikes!). The hormones responsible for this stage are adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
The initial stages of “falling” for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of Adrenalin and Cortisol. This is why we often sweat, our hearts race, and our mouths go dry when we encounter our new love interest.
Dopamine is the hormone responsible for feelings of euphoria. When this hormone is activated it secretes an intense rush of pleasure.
Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .
These characteristics are very similar (if not the same) to those of individuals with addictive behaviors like drug addicts and heavy gamblers.This can be seen as evidence that one can in fact be addicted to love or loving someone no matter how destructive the relationship is to the persons well being.
Serotonin is believed by many researchers to be responsible for the feelings of happiness and well being in a person. Studies show low levels of serotonin to be associated with depression.
Stage 3: Attachment
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough to reproduce and/or build lives together. Scientist associate the two major hormones Oxytocin and Vasopressin with this feeling.
Oxytocin is responsible for creating the feelings of deep connection leading to attachment and commitment. Oxytocin is secreted during childbirth, breast feeding, and during an orgasm. A popular theory is that the more sex a couple has the stronger there bond becomes.
Vasopressin is also a hormone that contributes to strong bonds between couples.This hormone is secreted after sex. This conclusion was made after A study done by scientist using Praires Voles showed that the presence (or lack thereof) of Vasopressin played a significant role in the amount of devotion (or lack thereof) the subjects had toward there partners. Praire Voles relationship are similar to human relationship in that they have far more sex than is required for reproduction and also form fairly stable pair bonds.
The love spell
If you’re planning on going on a date with someone you’re interested in this exercise created by Psychologist and University Professor Arthur Arun should be interesting and fun to try:
Find a complete stranger. (doesn’t have to be a stranger could be someone you feel you don’t know well enough.)
Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
Then, stare deeply into each others eyes without talking for four minutes.
Many of the subjects involved in this study reported to feel deeply attractive to one another after 36 minutes. Two of the couples in this experiment later got married.