There once was a kid who had nowhere to go. He had a whole lot of mouth but nothing to show. So he went to streets and started walking around with heat. Hustled on other niggas corners so he was always in some beef. But shorty had potential that kept deeply buried, he was tired of running the streets and making his mom worry. He wanted to be star but he was too scared to mention, he was smartest kid in class but he stayed in detention. He wasn’t all the bad he just needed some attention, couldn’t go see his dad so instead he climbing fences.Every night he would go home and write down his dreams and imagine how life was behind the big screen. Thinking of way that he could grind is way out, all the pain from the past made him want to scream and shout. Before he’d go to sleep at night he’d pray to above, everybody saw trouble but he really needed love.
Who will love this man?
A question I sometimes ask myself at night while alone listening to music and feeding to my oral fixation with a cigar I purchased from an Asian restaurant.
Deep thoughts circle in my mind. Some so dark that I immediately pray they never escape my mind. Others so enlightening that I fear ill be crucified if I ever form words to express them.
You see, I’m afraid of myself. My essence and my power make me feel like I’m the Sun; beautiful to look at but too dangerous to get close to.
My clairvoyant persona something I sometimes wish I could hide but like the sun surrounded by clouds its only a matter of time before the light on the other side peaks through again.
As I begin to regain focus my vision clears and I recognized my path, filled lighted and truth.
Yet some nights I still find myself asking:
“Who will love this man?”
Who will be brave enough to love the man who holds the power to either heal or destroy the world?
HE, he will love Self; for his survival in this dimension rest upon this defining decision.
As I stood in the doorway, eyes piercing through the dark of the night, obsessing over satins unique ability to caress every curve and angle of her frame.
I received an impulse to approach my prey. So smitten I don’t recall how I traveled the distance. Maybe I glided, maybe my wings flew me towards my dream.
Losing control of my bodily functions-it was if my heart took control and didn’t require permission from my brain anymore-while she lay still on her back like a goddess waiting to be taken by her fierce gladiator.
My fingers began to caress the triangular parts of her body and steadily moved to the creasing parts of her spine, sliding towards the cushions of her backbone.
Between her thighs I feel the steam from her ocean shooting out like a rapid fire; enough to invoke a mist.
My palms soon seek refuge in her well groomed garden. My brain begins to function slightly but only enough for me to imagine the pleasures my extension may feel might I dare expose it to her narrow river.
This would not be the first time I’d taken a dip in these warm waters -where I’d been many times smalls distances between life and death-and it wouldn’t be the last.
while on this expedition toward passion I always retrieve myself moments before my demise. Within each step I take towards an inevitable death I feel I become more alive.
I have no control of myself yet full control of her, this is my final fantasy, this euphoria.
I often read sayings/statements which discuss how ” there is always someone in the world willing to kiss/worship the ground we walk on” and I believe this is true; but I also believe that the people we meet in this life are a reflection of where we are in our human development. If this is true then it would mean that in order to receive such treatment one must be willing/able to reciprocate.
On the other hand, I also believe that someone who genuinely loved you would never allow you stoop so low as to worship them but would instead be too concerned with raising you up to your rightful state of being, your higherself, your highness.
This of course just my humbled opinion so don’t be afraid to tell me what you think.
I’ve always had a thing for you and you’ve always had a thing for me. We were still trying to understanding our bodies then so it’s was hard for us to understand why we felt the way we did about each other. But even when we did we were still hesitant to explore…. or maybe we were just afraid. Afraid of the fire that we’d light. What if we went too far? Would that fire warm us or burn us alive?
During the time I was too young, too ambitious, and too selfish to take such a risk.
But time as caused me to grow bolder. So when I finally saw you again after all these years I didn’t hesitate to get your number and make it my business to get you to my bedroom.
No playing it cool this time, I want to show you what the years have shown me. I want to know your body as well as I know your mind and soul. I’m not uncertain or bashful about my Desires. I want to taste every part of you until your skin wrinkles. I’m not rushing because I’ve learned patience while waiting for the next time we’d meet again. I knew this would happen, I knew we would happen. Just promise you’ll be mine forever. Even if forever ends after our climax.
It’s past our meeting date. I’m irritated, horney and angry all in one so I send the text:
“I’ve been calling you for days and you’re not answering this isn’t like you. You would’ve called me by now. What’s going on? Should I do a pop up? I knew you were going to eventually choose him over me! You think you about to be happy while I’m sitting here miserable? You got me fuck up! I’m just going to keep calling you until you change your number. Matter fact I’m about to tell him everything you dumb ass bitch I Hate you!!!!”
Before I could send the text the bell rang and I went to the door. It’s the cop who always used to come when we had our domestic disputes. I haven’t seen him in a while so I’m automatically defensive. I look him up and down and say ” what the fuck you want? We ain’t even together no more y’all always fucking with me.”
He shakes his head and says ” it’s not even like that this time we need your help.No ones seen Diana in a week and her mom said that if anyone knew where she would be it’s you knowing how inseparable you guys are.”
I respond ” look she got a boyfriend go ask that nigga we been over for a year.”
He shakes his head and walks away but before he gets in the car he gets a phone call that causes him to turn back around. This time he ain’t playing with me. He grips me up and throws me in the back of his car. I know I’m not arrested because I don’t have any handcuffs around my wrists. We pull up to this building and walk down the basement into a cold room. As I observe the room my heart feels like it’s pounding through my hoodie. The lady pulls back the sheet and ask ” can you identify this body?”
My hands grip my face so hard it seems like I’m trying to rip it off. I can’t control my cry, I’m hollering, screaming and trying to catch my breath at the same time ;No one around me knows what to do to calm me.
The body on the table, It’s her, its my love, its Diana.
Woman thrive on impulse
So fellas.. You come home from work and see a living room full of bags and wonder if there is a holiday coming up that maybe you’ve forgotten about. Maybe your girl has done some early Christmas shopping or you forgot it was the anniversary of something you didn’t think was important enough to have its own anniversary. To your relief , she comes in the living room expressing how joyous and lucky she feels to have stumbled upon a sale just before it ended. The smart (I.E more experienced) man will pretend to share her excitement secretly hoping that maybe she bought something for him too. However, as men we’re never as happy as they are when this happens because we know there wasn’t any sale and that our girlfriend just bought whatever items she wanted on impulse. But see, that’s one of the many things about women that we just have to accept. Women live and die on impulse. Women make most of their major decisions on impulses, especially decisions about the types of men they date.
A woman is on her lunch break in the local mall and decides to go treat herself to a new dress. She walks into her favorite store and instantly sees a dress she likes. The dress is nice and the price isn’t that bad but it’s a popular dress and she knows it’s always in stock. She puts the dress down and continues to shop because she knows it’ll be there if she ever decides to come back and pick it up.
She then sees a more beautiful dress, one she’s never seen anyone with and thinks this is the dress of a lifetime but it’s too expensive.
Although she knows she can’t afford the dress at the moment, she decides to put it on lay away and make deposits whenever she can. While she continues to browse around the store, she spots another stunning dress, high-priced but affordable.
Not many people have this dress but the women who do are held to prestigious standards. There are only a few of these dresses left and she knows that if she hesitates the woman standing behind her will take the last dress in her size. She buys the dress without thinking twice.
Breaking down the analogy
The first dress that was moderately priced and fully stocked describes the guy who the woman considers to be average (you basic bruh). She may give him her number and go out on a few dates with him but it never goes any further because she knows she can have him whenever she wants and that’s not appealing enough for her to be “all in”.
The second dress represents the nice “wholesome” guy that’ll “make a woman out of her”. She knows that this is the guy that will treat her the way she feels a woman should be treated but she’s not ready for that kind of guy at this point in her life. Shes views him as an investment for the future so she keeps him around in some shape or form. Maybe they go out occasionally, have deep conversations every once in a while and if shes really likes him they might fuck every now and then. These are all little deposits that she assumes will assure that she has the option to buy when she’s ready to make the investment.
Although she isn’t ready for the type of commitment that the second dress requires she doesn’t want to become another fuck buddy either. The third dress is more of her speed. It defines what she yearns for at this stage in her life. She does want commitment and security but overall she wants excitement! She wants the type of dress/guy that few have and many want. This guy doesn’t want more from her than loyalty and good sex. But like the the second dress, he wont wait around for her. This dynamic triggers her natural impules. Maybe there’s a future with him maybe there isn’t, but that’s what excites her. Whatever the case she’s all in.
Different strokes for Different folks (pause)
Keep in mind some women do shop differently. The woman above is just an examples of how some women utilize their impulsive instinct to choose their partners. Although it is a well-known fact that women shop on impulse, these impulses are triggered by different contributing factors like wants, needs, aspirations and motivations. Depending on those factors, a woman may be more or less inclined to choose either dress (ie. type of man) over the other.
For the most part, if the woman you’re courting isn’t taking you off the rack right away, chances are you’re not the kind of dress she wants. Additionally, if shes’ stalling but still feeding the idea of the two of you being a couple, chances are she has you on layaway. I mean, Who knows, you might just be one of the lucky ones who get bought around christmas or income tax time. On the other hand I know people who still owe payments on a VCR they put on layaway in the 90s.