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Solar Energy

Who will love this man?

A question I sometimes ask myself at night while alone listening to music and feeding to  my oral fixation with a cigar I purchased from an Asian restaurant.

Deep thoughts circle in my mind. Some so dark that I immediately pray they never escape my mind. Others so enlightening that I fear ill be crucified if I ever form words to express them.

You see, I’m afraid of myself. My essence and my power make me feel like I’m the Sun; beautiful to look at but too dangerous to get close to.

My clairvoyant persona something I sometimes wish I could hide but like the sun surrounded by clouds its only a matter of time before the light on the other side peaks through again.

As I begin to regain focus my vision clears and I recognized my path, filled lighted and  truth.

Yet some nights I still find myself asking:

“Who will love this man?”

Who will be brave enough to love the man who holds the power to either heal or destroy the world?

HE, he will love Self; for his survival in this dimension rest upon this defining decision.

 

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Euphoric 

As I stood in the doorway, eyes piercing through the dark of the night, obsessing over satins unique ability to caress every curve and angle of her frame. 
I received an impulse to approach my prey. So smitten I don’t recall how I traveled the distance. Maybe I glided, maybe my wings flew me towards my dream.

Losing control of my bodily functions-it was if my heart took control and didn’t require permission from my brain anymore-while she lay still on her back like a goddess waiting to be taken by her fierce gladiator. 

My fingers began to caress the triangular parts of her body and steadily moved to the creasing parts of her spine, sliding towards the cushions of her backbone. 

Between her thighs I feel the steam from her ocean shooting out like a rapid fire; enough to invoke a mist. 

My palms soon seek refuge in her well groomed garden. My brain begins to function slightly but only enough for me to imagine the pleasures my extension may feel might I dare expose it to her narrow river.
This would not be the first time I’d taken a dip in these warm waters -where I’d been many times smalls distances between life and death-and it wouldn’t be the last.

while on this expedition toward passion I always retrieve myself moments before my demise. Within each step I take towards an inevitable death I feel I become more alive. 

I have no control of myself yet full control of her, this is my final fantasy, this euphoria.

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Statistic 

I was in the alley watching niggas serve the fiends 
Listening to Papi sell the hood niggas dreams 
I was in an Audi by the age of 17

Couldn’t go to sleep I had smokers in my dreams 

Tried to keep the peace but I would smoke you for my cream

I just had to have it

Light skin bitch kept saying I was average 

Didn’t want to fail, didn’t want to live bummy

Late night kitchen table counting up the money 

Everything was blurry my whole life looked fuzzy 

All I really wanted was for somebody to love me 

Moving too fast now my room look like a cubby,

Eating chi’s chi’s chips cutttin up my tummy 

1 year down 15 years coming 

All this time left and ain’t no runnin 

It’s 1 million kinds a way to eat

But the hood got me thinking the only way is the streets 

So when I get home Ima trap some more 

and when I get smoked they spray paint me on the corner store 

My kids won’t have a father and their mother will be spiteful

Because she knows that they’re  doomed to continue the cycle 

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Meet the Owner:

I started this blog because I love writing and sharing my ideas and thoughts with anyone willing to listen( in this case read). What first drew me to writing is that I could become who ever I wanted and travel where ever my imagination dared to take me. Growing up I would always find myself wishing I was somewhere else, being someone different. Writing helped to take my mind off everything around me and ultimately helped me to become the free spirit I am, it freed me. Through my writing I realized I could imagine being whoever or wherever I wanted. Growing, learning and living helped me to understand that there’s no one I’d rather be other than myself; there’s no place I’d rather be than right here, living in this moment.

I hope you enjoy my writing and will follow me as I share my world and my words with you. I guess you can call this my Memoirs of a free spirit.

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